In Retrospective
by She's Hearing Voices
Summary: Post Chosen. Buffy and Faith are sharing a room, and also learning new things about each other. F/B


Okay so I read this great one-shot I believe by ... ToryV and I was inspired. This resulted. It's written at almost two o'clock in the morning, so I apologize for any mistakes.

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In Retrospective

A few weeks had passed since Sunnydale had officially been 'closed for business'. Buffy and the rest of the gang had decided to make themselves somewhat comfortable in LA until they figured out what they should do next. So, they decided to take refuge in a hotel owned by their favorite broody vampire.

The first few days passed without a hitch, they were all too tired to do anything but sleep anyways. Willow and Kennedy shared a room (testing Faith's H&H theory), Dawn was with Xander, Andrew with Giles (which produced many jokes from Faith), all the potentials split up accordingly, and Buffy was left to share a room with Faith.

She had been so tired at first that she hadn't even minded. But as the days wore on, she was beginning to question how exactly her and Faith ended up in the same room. Faith came up with the conclusion that it was "just a way for them to share some sisiterly slayer bonding since they closed up the Hellmouth", but Buffy was beginning to think differently.

It took a few days but Buffy thought that maybe they were destined to be roomies. After all, she had learned a lot about the other slayer in just a short amount of time: she hated the movie Child's Play (Chuckie used to freak her out as a kid), her favorite ice cream flavor was chocolate and it was only complete with gummy bears (which Buffy made a disgusted face at, but Faith reasoned that the gummy bears grew icy and that it was like having two snacks in one), she loved the rain, and more recently, Buffy learned that Faith loved to read novels, not comic books, but actual full-length novels.

Buffy had just come from dinner to find Faith lying in bed, a book in hands, and reading glasses perched delicately on the end of her nose. The sight was taken straight out of the Twilight Zone and Buffy found it hard not to sound surprised when she asked, "Whatchya doin?"

Faith, who hadn't even heard Buffy enter the room, looked up at her and replied, "Readin. How was dinner with the Scoobs?"

Buffy was too shocked by the first part to even answer the question. "Reading? As in a book? You sure there's no raunchy magazine behind those pages?" She teased the brunette. Buffy didn't know how or when it all happened, but she found herself actually becoming good friends with the other slayer. Maybe it took closing a Hellmouth for things to actually be okay between them.

Faith flashed her dimpled grin. "Funny B, but no. I _can_ read y'know." She replied, not with malice, but in a teasing voice of her own. Faith was just glad that the bridge was built and that water was firmly placed under it.

Buffy held her hands up defensively. "Hey, I never said you couldn't. I'm just surprised that's all. I think the last book I read was … well when Giles made me study, although I did have a few Archie's comics placed between the pages." She admitted with a smile as she started to take off her coat. She then walked over to her bed which was right next to Faith's and sat on the end of it, the whole time she found it hard to take her eyes off of the brunette in the sexy librarian glasses.

"Uh huh, and I'm the one accused of pretending to read." Faith said as she placed her book down. She didn't want to read now that Buffy was back.

Buffy smiled as she leaned back in her bed. "I didn't know you wore glasses." She said with curiosity. Faith _never_ spoke about her past, actually apart from sex, men, and slaying, she rarely spoke about anything. Buffy was hoping that since they were becoming more buddy-buddy (the way it should have been) that maybe Faith would open up a bit.

"Uh yeah…" Faith replied with hesitation, she didn't like where the conversation was headed one bit. After all, there was a reason she kept her past out of her discussions with anyone, especially Buffy. "Angel got me set up with a pair after I told him that mine got smashed a long time ago."

Buffy nodded. "When did you get them?" She asked, treading carefully. She had her speculations about Faith's past and why she might not want to talk about it, but she didn't know for sure.

Nope, Faith didn't like where this conversation was going one bit. "I uh … got 'em when I was back in Boston. I was in first grade when I noticed the words gettin a little blurry, so, I asked dear 'ol mom to get me a pair and we couldn't afford it, so my teacher actually got me an appointment. Been wearin' em ever since." Faith finished, leaving out the part that her mom had actually slapped her at the notion of getting her a pair of glasses.

The bitterness in Faith's voice didn't know unnoticed by Buffy when she was talking about her 'dear 'ol mom'. Buffy didn't know quite how to respond to that, so she nodded and said, "They look good on you."

Faith smiled, which caused Buffy to follow suit. "You sound surprised." Faith replied cockily.

Buffy merely rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the look Faith was giving her. Although her sultry voice alone was enough to get Buffy's butterflies going. That woman really had the power to seduce a blind man if she wanted to. Who knows? Maybe she had.

"Whatever F." Buffy responded with, and then kicked herself for the lame comeback.

"So you never told me how the dinner date with all the Scoobs went." Faith asked as she took off her glasses. Buffy pushed back the feeling of disappointment that the sexy pair of glasses were now off.

Swallowing, Buffy said, "It was fine … good. We talked."

Faith nodded. "Talking's good." She mocked. "What's with you B? You're all spacey."

Buffy quickly snapped up. "Oh nothing. Oh right… so we all talked, you know, about what we're all going to do."

"Oh." Faith responded as her stomach dropped. She was regretting this conversation that she knew was inevitable.

"Yeah." Buffy agreed, seeing the white look on Faith's face. In truth, Buffy had no idea what Faith was planning on doing, it's not like the girl was an open book or anything.

"So?" Faith prodded, figuring that they might as well get this conversation over with. She knew she was going to regret telling Buffy what she planned on doing.

Buffy sighed. "Well Willow and Kennedy are going to travel for a little bit together, there's no surprise." She smiled, trying to keep the conversation light. "Giles is going to Cleveland after he clears up a few things in England, and Xander is going with him."

"And you and Dawnie?"

"Me and Dawn? Well I think I owe it to her to take a little time off, travel a bit, and then I think it's off to Cleveland with the rest of the Calvary."

Faith nodded, knowing that it was now her turn to tell Buffy what her plans were. Couldn't hurt to prolong it a few more seconds' right?

Buffy wasn't stupid. She knew that Faith was purposely not telling her what she was going to do with the rest of her life. So Buffy felt like giving her a push. "What about you?" She asked casually. She knew the answer, was dreading the answer actually, but she had to hear it for herself.

Faith drew in a long breath before speaking. "Honestly? Now that you have a whole mess of slayers on your bench, I think the best place for me is to finish my penance." There, she said what she needed to say; what she had been waiting to say for weeks. She knew exactly what she was going to do when she was standing next to the crater of Sunnydale, the trouble then became how she was going to tell the rest of them. It was strange for her to believe that she had actually grown close to the Scooby gang.

Buffy sighed for the second time that night. She knew it. "You know you don't have to." She said before she could stop herself. She hated how vulnerable her voice sounded.

Faith gave her a confused look. "Of course I do Buffy. I'm an ex con. What can I do? Run my whole life? Nah, I'm done running, time to pay up and go back to where I belong." It hurt her to say those things about herself; it hurt because they were all true.

It even hurt Buffy to hear them. She didn't want Faith to leave. They were finally rebuilding the gap that had caused them to fight on opposite sides. "Maybe you belong here." Buffy tried to reason with her, and again that weak voice returned.

Faith looked up, surprised by Buffy's sentence. "Yeah, right. Like Tom and Jerry right?"

Now Buffy was confused. "Huh?"

Faith smiled and shook her head. "Tom and Jerry? You never watched that cartoon? And I thought I had the crappy childhood." Faith said before she could stop herself. The last part just kind of slipped. Truthfully though, Faith had only caught the cartoon whenever she stayed at her grandmother's, which was rarely.

The last part of Faith's sentence caught Buffy off guard. She knew that the brunette hadn't meant to say it, but it still was out there. She decided to let Faith go. "Oh right, the cartoon. But how does that relate to us?"

"Are you kidding? They are us. Always fighting and plottin against each other, then they're all pally. That's us B, in a nutshell."

Buffy couldn't help but smile at the analogy, but it still saddened her to know that Faith was right. "Yeah … but that could change." She sounded half her age.

Faith gave her a sad smile. "I thought so too."

Buffy looked up at her hopefully. "Then why can't it?"

"Cause …" Faith stopped. How could she explain to Buffy that fate had other plans with her? That she wasn't allowed to be happy?

"Faith." Buffy's soft voice broke Faith away from her thoughts.

"It just can't." Faith said finally, causing Buffy's face to fall.

Suddenly, Buffy's face grew hard. "You don't want it to."

"What?" Faith asked. Now _she_ was confused.

"You know, punishing yourself your whole life isn't suddenly going to magically make things better. Sooner or later you're going to have to actually _try." _Buffy replied bitterly. This was the part of the conversation where she said things that she knew that she'd later regret.

Faith cocked an angry eyebrow at her. Suddenly she felt the need to stand up, so she did. "You don't think I'm tryin here B? What, did ya think that prison was all fun an' games and the only thing I'm missin right now is arts and crafts?" Buffy wasn't even allowed to answer before Faith started again. "It's Hell Buffy. Shit happens, scary shit, everyday. Yeah it's not fighting vampires, but we've got demons of our own in there. And damn it I'm trying to make a difference by bein in there, cause _you_ told me that I had to." Faith finished and she was out of breath, flustered, and beyond pissed off.

Buffy didn't know what to say. She hadn't expected Faith to suddenly confess all of that to her. Faith's eyes bore into hers and she felt oddly ashamed under her gaze. "I'm sorry." She whispered as she stood up to level with the other slayer.

Faith's eyes widened. The blonde was just full of surprises. "Wait … what?" Faith asked.

Buffy shook her head and then rested her eyes again on Faith's. "You're right. You are trying to make a difference by being in there and I'm sorry that you thought I didn't understand that, cause I do. It's just … can't you make a difference outside of prison?"

Faith's mouth felt dry and her throat hitched.

"I trust you, we all do. Can't you stay? …For us?" _For me?_ Buffy added in her head. The saying was true; you truly didn't appreciate something until it was suddenly taken away from you or threatened to be taken away from you. She needed the brunette, Buffy understood that now.

She needed everything: the way her heart raced a mile-a-minute just looking at the brunette, the dirty innuendoes, the occasional flirting, the tickle fights they sometimes shared, the way Faith seemed to know what she was thinking without her even saying anything, and her. Buffy needed Faith, in more ways than one.

In one sweeping moment, Faith was standing centimeters away from Buffy and their lips were crashing against each others. Buffy was amazed at how perfect and _right_ it felt to have Faith's soft lips against hers, and Faith was amazed that Buffy was actually allowing her tongue to seek entrance. Their hands traveled crazily, touching, feeling, and ripping away articles of clothing.

Buffy wasn't nervous. Not even when Faith's fingers slipped ever so delicately into her panties. Her heart sped for an entirely different reason. It was then that that she realized that she needed _this. _

Faith was nervous as hell however. Buffy was the one person that could make her skin crawl and her stomach flip at the very sight of the blonde and she now had her fingers inside of that very person. Faith had a reputation to live up to, and she was sure as hell going to live up to it.

After an hour of lovemaking, Buffy and Faith lay naked together, wrapped in each other's arms, exhausted and breathless. As soon as Buffy was able to catch her breath, she said, in an incredibly seductive voice, "You are _definitely_ wearing those glasses more often." Faith merely chuckled, thinking that she'd do anything to recreate the perfect moment she just experienced. Although lying in Buffy's arms was just about as perfect as it got.

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One of my first one-shots. Yay, or nay?


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